I took the pain to reach all the way to this window to make a new post, but hell I cant think of anything to write.. coz I m hopelessly stuck listening to 'Bin tere kya hai jeena' by Jawad Ahmad. Pakistani music Rocks!

Disclaimer: 'I have no hard feeling's for the victims and related people from 9/11'

Images: 9/11 - United in Memory
9/11: The child who lost his mother
Here's why Osama bin Laden's still free
Gandhian way to mark 9/11
The fallout from 9/11
With a heavy heart, America marks 9/11
5 years on, a world living in fear
Bush vows never to forget lessons of 9/11

These are only a few headlines from just two online news portals. just cant stop wondering what is it about this incidence that it is still as much alive as it was on that day 5 years back. I dont remember seeing more then one small coloum in a newspaper about the tsunami which happend 3 years back, I don't see any news on the day of when the London subway was blasted, I don't see so much Reminiscing about any other news as I have done about this. Not that what happened was small or easily forgetable but WHAT was it that is still so ALIVE?
Is it because it is like the single most devastating Terrorism act known in AMERICA by the outside world?
or because world's way of functioning has changed considerably after this?
or because it gave rise to World vs 'so called Islami Jehad'?

If people wud say it is because of the Loss of Humanity and Loss of relations, families, mothers, fathers, children, teachers... I dont think I ll beleive it.. as only people who are still greiving for that reason are the ones who have lost.

So what is it about?

Lehroon Se Darr Kar.. Naauka Paar Nahin Hoti
Himmat Karne Walon Ki.. Haar Nahin Hoti
nanhiin Chiitin Jab Daana Lekhar Chalti Hai
Chadhti Deewaroon Par Sau Baar Phisalti Hai
Mann Ka Vishwaas Ragoon Mein Saahas Bharta Hai
Chadh Kar Girna.. Girkar Chadhna.. Naa Aakarta Hai
Aakhir Uski Mehnat.. Bekaar Nahin Hoti
Koshish Karne Walon Ki.. Haar Nahin Hoti
Dubkiyaan Sindhu Mein Goota Khoor Lagaata Hai
Jaa Jaa Kar Khaali Haath.. Laut Aata Hai
Milte Na Shaheej Ke Moti Paani Mein
Behta Doona Utsaah Isi Hairaani Mein
Muthi Uski Khaali.. Haar Baar Nahin Hoti
Himmat Karne Walon Ki.. Haar Nahin Hoti
Asafalta.. Ek Chunauti Hai.. Sweekaar Karo
Kya Kami Rehgayi.. Dekho.. Aur Suthaar Karo
Jabtak Nasafaal Ho.. Neend Chaain Tyaag do tum
Sungharshoon Ka Maidaan.. Choodh Mat Bhaago Tum
Kucch Kiye Bina Hi.. Jay Jay Kar Nahin Hoti
Himmat Karne Walon Ki.. Haar Nahin Hoti

"Suryakant Tripathi Nirala"

Thats the Stark Simplicity of a Hindi Poem.

So whats the humor in changing 4 vehicles, Travelling in Shady, Pervert, Smelly DTC buses.. Sitting at Dutch Embassy for 3 hours (where they tell u to come back tomoro)... then again travelling back all the way in the deadly melancholy of Dress circle people? .. think think.. Humor is there, but only in eyes of people who have not been thru it. Somebody please tell these embassies they are not a Kingdom in themselves, who can walk all over anybody. Bloody feels like the watch man has more power then u. God I so wish to marry a king right now. (.. not to worry this feeling will pass)

Met chotu today, being with him makes me realise guys can be that emotional also. He's a sweetheart. Meeting him always cheers the worst out of me. God Bless HIM.

How to waste a complete Day: Crash course.

Getting up: Now guys.. to efficiently start the ruining of a day ..start at 6 o'clock... not by getting up.. but start thinking to get up. Twist and turn a lil on that cozy bed.. Check time on mobile (actually early morning messages ;) And then straight away go back to that sweet captivating Slumber. Hope we are aware of the famous saying, all dreams that come early morning, come true. So people.. Its not that we are sloths, Just that we are determined to make our dreams come true! (will do anything it takes)
Has it struck 12 in the watch yet, No? Please dont even think of anything else. SNOOZE!
12 o'Clock - Good morning honey! Time for food.. I mean time for lunch. Now please dont waste time taking a bath. You should always be on your toes, always in the get set go mode. So a simple Brushing wud be enough to get rid of all obstacles between u and the Food. Wait a minute though. Did you check if the cable is running or not, Food can be utterly distastefull without a remote. So you finish the food and now please please please .. Dont take the pains to put the plates back, Just relax on in a comfortable position in front of the Idiot box with ur legs on another chair.. spine bent enough to make u look dwarf.. and the life saver remote in hand.
And then starts the hard part... Pressing buttons. Boy.. so much of work. Also so much of mental strain to concentrate on every channel within a time span of 3 seconds. God you must be exhausted! But shit.. ! I got two assignments to do. But dude, Smart thing here to do would be take some rest. Doubtful? Ill tell ya why.. Man, if u so exhausted mentally and physically isnt it ur moral duty to give ur body some rest, which would further help u do ur Assignment more efficiently. Also if u do it now, it wont be ur best work, best work requires relaxed muscles. So we see, Motive here is again not laziness, but Desire to Perform better.
So back to the cozy crumbled bed. U gotta rest well, So dont u dare get up before 6.30 PM. Now get up.. it would be insane to get to work directly.. You need to get into the groove.. So u get ur ass on the Chair and get online.. Check mails, Orkut, Chat, Play games, Orkut, Chat, Read news, Chat, Orkut, Check mails, Orkut, Chat, Chat, Check mails, Orkut.. ...
Finally - DINNER TIME! 9 PM. So you dine with ur roomies, bitch about people, bitch about college, bitch about studies, Discuss current romances, Discuss the Dark future, Unemployment, Food, Movies. Now should be good time to get to work .. but hey! Can u afford to miss the new season of FRIENDS, Will and Grace, Caroline in the city, medical detectives.. NO! So we watch with all enthusiam. 12.30.. Now we will have to get to work.. Got submissions tomoro..
BUT LET ME JUST POST THE INSIGHTFUL BLOG FIRST.

Today's blog has to be dedicated to babu bhai, No matter how much we like to deny keeping in mind the human touch, feel, bonding, love etc.. Nuts and bolts can actually take that place once in a while.. In my case since last 8 months.. Yes. He has been with me when I was sitting in my room all alone all days and nights while internship. He has been there when I just wanted to shut myself up from the world and go to someone who'd just listen and not be judgmental, he as made me laugh, cry. He's been an unspoken support all thruout these months and what have I done to it today! He's crying like a innocent hurt kid. I have been a bad friend. Sorry babu bhai.

Is life a trade of between.. our own beleif and fear that people who you know are wrong.. proving right. Every time we set to do something, its for us.. then why does this feeling erupt from somewhere that what other people are doing is gonna be right for us then what we think. Is it just mare lack of information or a non beleiver attitude.
One of my favorite movies is 'legally blonde' .. its underlying thought is of 'courage of conviction'.
I wonder if people are even aware of that term.

Its very important for that lightning to strike. Which? The one which opens your brains. Did it strike me yet? Well.. not a 10,000 watt one.. but yeah... One which enters brains atleast. We tend to become so comfortable in our cocoons that it is inconceivable to think beyond that. So, I thought I was Right... and then boom. I am still right. Stubborn I m, Not insensible though. There are 3 things ... 1. What we wanna say... 2. What we say... 3. What people understand it as. Interesting thing is all these 3 are different, though our sole aim and belief is that all three are same. How we dont wanna project anything wrong but becoz all body parts dont function in coordination, they defeat our claim. My aim now is to make the 3 ditto!

Job hunting is on now. I wonder what I m hunting for really, feels more like a wild goose chase.. or getting lost is a maze where u dont know where the door is located.. though it is somewhere there.
One company is there in my mind.

There are so many topics I feel like writing about right now (which btw defys my 'lifes to sleep' attitude) but then the thought crosses this barren land, Let me write about what I dont have... to write about.. Neat huh!
Sooo unlike all the smart people I know in life, I dont have anything to write about my experiences.. though I have had many.. I fail to express.
Travelling is another thing I have never been able to think about much which is a direct consequential of not having the oppurtunity to travel to interesting places.. though almost half of India I have covered which I am proud of.. but places like Andaman, Pondicherry, Ladakh, sikkim, far east, Kasauli, dharamshala, Kashmir.. in short places I'd like to visit.. I have never been able to as yet. Bummer.
Also people like to talk about people, SOMETHING.. I jus cant get myself to do. It jus does not fit in my logic sequence why people want to constantly talk about other people just for the heck of it. One thing I can easily do about people is Admire or Reject them. But not talk.
A thing I'd definietly do one day is talk about thing I want most in life. Just not realised what it is yet. Counting days.

Finally I did get my laptop.. :) But m just too lazy too blog.

-

Now I shall Post only after I have my Laptop!

Busy Day

29 Dec 05 : 2 tests, 2 presentations, 1 assignment: Work done.. 0
29 Dec 05: Getting up early..Phew! , Catching a Bus to home, Packing:Work done..r u MAD!
29 Dec 05:Adi's Bday!, AIESEC Jaipur's Bday Bash, Party on Charts: Work done.. not me boss:)

My family just got extened :)

Now I have one more motivation to go back home.. New Laddoo!! Cant beleive it has been 5 years when I saw laddo opening his eyes in front of me and yawning. that cute lil face. What a maddening day it was 5 years back... and today I m not even there to see it with my family. Looking soooo forward to go back home. Wanna cuddle that cutei up. Dying to do it.

History

Just for record.. m condensing my previous entries here .. coz I wasted time on them boy.. Just shifted ma blog


11/16/2005
Irony!
Who says it needs a tremendous amount of effort to find yourself and appreciate life?
I dont. I say please go and attend a Langar! yeah. Its a place in Sikh relegious temples where everybody sits down and eats together for free. I guess that s not the only good part :)
Yesterday ( Guru nanak birthday) I happened to go to one of the biggest gurudware in delhi.. huge rush boss. Fortunately some of my friends insisted on siting for the langar.. the food contrary to general times was Pathetic.. It was a huge huge gathering. In the row front of me ..some beggars were sitting and eating and the people serving were smart handsome epitomy of rich. we were all eating the same food, sitting in same place .. these dudes begging the beggars to have some more to eat. I could not hate the food more then I did then, I also could not help but feel some kind of divine realisation where somebody knocks in ur head and says "See .. Ultimately we all end up same.."

5:52 PM

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11/1/2005
Diwali time!!
Its Diwali folks!! For all those who are away from home.. My sympathies :-) Its quite funny most of the people u talk to on diwali will tel u how much work they have, there plans wud include nothing but the usual cleaning, eating, puja and all... things people wont call interesting actually.. (please excuse EATING from the list).. but there's something unexplainable about it.. Just the feel of being home .. no matter how much u don enjoy the mundane stuff. Its like some kinda unwritten rule ' Its diwali, Its shud be home sweet home'

One of the things I hate about diwali.. No no its not cleaning.. Its going Fire cracker Shopping.. When u are there buying all expensive non expensive crap.. and this middle age man comes and asks the price of the simple fuljhadi and then the look on his face when he hear's 40 bucks for a pack. I can only assume the pang of pain he must have gone thru knowing he wont be able to afford this smallest desire of his Kid. God I hate going shopping for diwali.
4:11 PM

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10/31/2005
one murder.. please
I wish my constitution forgives me one murder.. I ll kill that female who treats her mother in law like some damn dog.. people who have read or seen about this incident in our good ol' jaipur would relate to my overwhelming sentiments. I wanna use my ' not so valuable spit till now' on the jerks, God please give them similar children.
12:02 AM

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10/15/2005
Challenge
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions.



Is all this too hard?
10:07 PM

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10/11/2005
women power
Wonder if anybody has seen a movie by manish jha .. matrabhumi Although made to emphasize on world without females, seems like it disturbingly demonstrates on the fucking fuck desire in frustrated men. I was totally taken back (I mean literally) by the one of the opening scenes of the movie where the girl child is drowned to death.. very respectfully.. in a tank full of milk by the father. I m glad I watched it, feel I have the best of life. Its dedicated to 35 million girls that have been missing after birth in India over 100 years. Astonishing. We have light years to reach humanity and rationality. God I hope I can stop thinking about it.
1:09 AM

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10/10/2005
sad day
Will miss a lot. wanna go back asap now, otherwise will get worse.
10:02 PM

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10/9/2005
today
Had to enter this 2 days back:
Thought (for that day)

If You cant fight it.... Party!!!!!

Some serious experience sharing that was.

Anyways..

I wonder why god made the concept of socialising?

Few days left looking forward to go back to the ' Pen '

Here I m

I have yet to meet one person who does not say ' God! my minds out of control! '
This blog is dedicated by Me ' the great' to all the Menaces created by this BEAUTIFUL MIND. Cheers!